Beast Wrestler

Oh sure, you could play a normal wrestling game, with normal people putting other normal people in various Death Grips(tm), but why would you want to do that when you could play a game that replaces your normal people with Giant Monsters!?

Oh, sure it sounds great. Fighting giant monsters to a state of near death should just about be the most fun that you can have playing a video game. Unfortunately, this game just can’t deliver. You start by picking your monster, picking its few moves, and heading to the fights. Then you… well you fight. In. The. Slowest. Fight. Imaginable. Giant monsters just don’t move real fast.

If you win certain fights, you get to recruit the monster to your team, giving you a little more variety. However, after taking a monster through a few fights, it will get too damaged to continue, and you’ll have to merge two of your monsters into some kind of crazy Super Giant Monster. The game prominently asks you to:


And no, that’s not a typo. You pick two monsters from you team and combine them into one creature with abilities of the two originals. Then it’s back to the fights.

I wasn’t ever able to figure out if there was any kind of long term goal beyond just making random monsters slowly bore each other to death, and occasionally smooshing them together. To date I’ve only played this game once, which is plenty.

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