I actually probably wouldn’t know anything about Jetpac if I didn’t play Donkey Kong 64. In that game, Cranky Kong tells you about a ‘real game’ you can play if you meet certain requirements. Do so, and you get… erm… ‘treated’ to one of the games from Rare’s storied past.

Jetpac tasks you with using your handy dandy jet pack to fly around a level infested with aliens. You have to assemble your ship, and then fuel it up by collecting fuel that mysteriously appears around the screen. There are also goodies to collect for points, and aliens to shoot for more points (which also has the side effect of thinning their numbers so they’re easier to avoid).

It should be fairly apparent that I don’t have some kind of bias against old games in favor of new games. I kept hearing about how awesome this game was, but it just didn’t click with me. Maybe those English folks have different tastes in games than I do, or maybe it’s a large elaborate joke that I don’t really get. But I played this game inside Donkey Kong 64 just long enough to get the requisite 5000 points to unlock whatever it was that I was supposed to unlock and then went off to play something that was a bit more fun, like Fold the Shirts From the Clothes Dryer.

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