Thanks to my years of playing video games I now know that if aliens ever invade Earth that I need to find two of the best, most highly trained, musclebound men that I can find. I then need to give them access to all sorts of heavy weaponry, and then drop them as far from the enemy base as possible, shirtless and bandanna-ed.
You’re going to think this plan of action is going to be foolhardy. But trust me, I’ve seen it in action, and it cannot fail.
If the knowledge that I’ve gleaned from my years of practicing the Digital Arts can help save the planet from rampaging militaristic aliens or giant mutated crabs then it will all be worth it.
[...] think I played the original Contra game so much because the developers were kind enough to include a magic code that gave me enough [...]