Big Mutha Truckers

It’s kind of hard to tell what Big Mutha Truckers is from looking at the box. All I could really divine was that it had something to do with semis and horribly overdone parodies of truck drivers.

The story of this game is pretty much nonexistent. It has something to do with Mama, the ridiculously obese matriarch of some shipping family, retiring and needing someone to take over the business. But she doesn’t know who to give it to. So, she organizes a competition. Whoever can raise the most money in some amount of time will become the winner! And presumably will become the new owner of the shipping cartel that exists in that universe.

You do this by traveling to various stops on your map and buying and selling your cargo. Your goal is to buy low and sell high, which will give you a healthy profit. Which you’ll need to not only win the game, but also to buy fuel and to repair your truck.

You need to repair your truck not only because you’re a horrible driver and have a tendency to crash into other cars along the road, but other vehicles will intentionally do you harm. It also doesn’t help that your semi controls like the wheels are made out of butter and the road is very warm, which pretty much ensures that you’re going to hit just about everything placed between you and your destination.

I guess if you play this game a lot, and take lots of notes to figure out what stops sell what cargo for what prices, and then if you learn how to drive a semi that controls like the road is covered with a layer of spent banana peels and canola oil, and you then somehow managed to not blow all your seed money on repairs and fuel, then you might actually start to get not awful at this game.

But that’s a whole lot of ‘if’s, and a whole lot more time that I was willing to spend on it.

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