Mystic Towers

Once upon a time the company now known as 3D Realms (formerly Apogee) put out piles of computer games, with hallmarks of being fun, engaging, and put together well. They also somehow managed to put out Mystic Towers.

I’m sure that to someone somewhere Mystic Towers is not a terrible game. I, unfortunately, am not one of those people. The game goes something like this: You take control of Baron Baldric, a wizard who also happens to be an old man (this is important). You are tasked with saving the land by venturing into a series of Mystic Towers, solving their secrets, and making the world safe for another day.

The towers are teeming with monsters, and the Baron, who is an accomplished wizard, has a handful of magic spells to take out the vermin. These towers are also, thankfully, well stocked with food, water, and additional magic spells. The Baron, it happens, needs to make sure he stays fed and hydrated. He doesn’t use the restroom, but he is an old man so he does break wind occasionally (and by occasionally, I mean all the time) with a smirk on his face which takes care of the food, but I don’t know where the water goes. Perhaps he sweats constantly into his large green robe, I don’t really know.

I was never able to endure much past the first tower, the ‘easy tower’ if you will. Easy, in this case, meaning a tower that took about two hours to complete, with one life while carefully balancing food and water intake and killing indigenous creatures. It was too much work for too little reward.

One Response to “Mystic Towers”

  1. Dave says:

    It’s a fun game, you silly person!not at all hard. you’re so nutty!

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